Being There For Your Kids

Parenting is a joy for those who wanted to be parents. Its definitely hard for others. Some learn to enjoy it, while others understand that they need to parent decently well after having become parents. Many parents understand that parenting is investing well in a long term relationship which like any other relationship, has its ups and downs. Kids need parents who respond to their needs. This makes them less impatient and frustrated. As babies when they wake up and call out, they feel reassured and happy to see a parent, even as the parent wants to be the one to reassure. This need on both sides to keep the other happy keeps the relationship elastic, responsive and happy. As they grow, they learn to respond to parents when they are called. It's like leading by example. 

Family-before by reneejulia

Many parents want to be friends with their kids. Nothing wrong there, but at the end of the day parents are the responsible folk. The buck stops there, so to say. Kids need schedules, boundaries and shepherds who will herd them into the circle, when they find them wandering away.

As kids grow, here are four things you can do to assure them of your presence:

1.    Be the tree under which they rest

Home should always be that one place where kids can come back to, however wonderful or horrid the outside world is. It should be a place they must want to come back to. Where they have the familiarity of their favorite sheets, childhood books, silly pet games, old toys,  family activities , and wonderful memorabilia.

2.    Be that wall when they need one to hide behind

There are times a child needs to hide behind a parent, either when they are escaping some teasing or a friend who’s teasing a wee bit too much. Let them use you to get out of situations they cannot wriggle out of on their own, for whatever reasons. Help them understand that it’s okay to say, ‘My parents won’t agree.’ They’ll do this only until they can build the courage and confidence to say ‘No’ on their own.

3.    Show them you care by accommodating them

There are parents who don’t give a child, what it requires or needs when they need it, but offer the same thing at a later date when it has much less value. A child needs time and attention at a younger age. When they are older, they can do with a lot less. Unfortunately these are the busiest years in an adult’s life. In spite of this, parents can take the occasional day off when it matters more to the child or attend that show/game that matters. It’s like showing faith in your child.

Through every phase of a child’s their needs are different. Offer it to the best of your ability. You might need to squish other things into corners, to make the space for kids into your lives. But it’s for a few years. They grow up very fast and fly away. But keep the window open, for they fly back in at the most unexpected of moments. Treasure them, for you must have done some things right for them to return like homing pigeons!